Thursday, March 16, 2017

Alone

I'm not afraid to stand alone.
If Allah is by my side.

Dulu saya sangkakan saya orang yang sangat berdikari. Well, boleh drive sendiri ke mana sahaja, hidup sendiri sekian lama, dan sebagainya. The fact is, I have always been emotionally dependent. Dan Allah sering ada, membimbing saya untuk menjadi lebih baik, dan kurangkan pergantungan saya pada manusia. Mencabut tongkat saya, satu persatu. Well that was what it felt like.

I was clingy to my sister, then Allah inflicted her with tribulations, and she was occupied. I then depended on my mother, but she too was distraught and busy with what happened in the family. What happened in our life back then, was too private for me to share to anyone. So I had to stand alone.

Now being married, I tend to rely on my husband's support, which is abundant. But even then, with all of his responsibilites, he is rarely home after work. Setiap malam keluar.

In the office, I felt so alone too. Everyone else had a team. While I was on my own, reporting to an ever busy boss. Unlike my other colleagues, I was rarely called to receive instructions, I had to brainstorm on my own, figure out things I needed to do. Which is tough for me, as I have always depended on ideas from others. When I call out for meetings, people normally give excuses, rarely attend. Leadership issues on my side, probably.

Then this morning I heard the I'm not afraid to stand alone song by Native Deen on the radio.

I shouldn't be afraid to stand alone. If Allah is by my side, as everything will be alright! It is ofcourse not easy to change, but temembering these mantras on tough days, inshaAllah Allah makes it easier. Aameen.

I am not afraid to stand alone. If Allah is by my side
I am not afraid to stand alone. Everything will be alright
I am not afraid to stand alone. Gonna keep my head up high

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Jangan biar anak membesar macam singa

Ibu

Siapa paling berhak mendapat kebaktianku? Ditanya kepada rasulullah saw.

Ummuk
Thumma man?
Ummuk
Thumma man?
Ummuk
Thumma man?
Abuuka.

Kenapa tinggi sgt?

Mengandung pun dah wahnan ala wahnin. Peluang mendapat pahala yg luar biasa! Sbb ganjaran selari dgn kesusahan yg dihadapi. Maka beruntunglah wanita, peluang yg tidak diberikan kepda lelaki.

Rasulullah sendiri kata nikahilah tazawwaju wanita yg boleh melahirkan (alwalud), yg boleh beri kasih syg (alwadud)

Mesti buat program utk anak. Jgn biar dia bkembang begitu je. Mesti buat perancangan n visi apa nak dicapai.

Anak jd hafiz umur berapa.

Kalau biar shj, tarbiyyatulashbal. Mak ayah singa, anak automatik jadi singa.

Umar alkhattab kata anak mu lahir bukan di zamanmu. So mmg perlu perancangan.

Tadika dah hafal half juz amma. Sambil main dlm kereta everywhere! Masa dlm kereta sgt berharga. Dlm kete je dah berapa jam. Ulang sampai 30.

Masuk drjh satu khatam quran. Inshaallah mudah ilmu lain masuk.

Jgn sia2kan life anak kita. Masa emas akan berlalu.

Kalau anak x smgt, ajak anak org lain. Or visualize hadiah yg akan dpt. Or bagi berenang.

Ayah imam shafie meninggal tika dia 2 tahun. 7 tahun dah hafal quran. 9 tahun hafal hadith.
14 tahun jd mufti.

Imam ahmad b muhammad b hanbal. Usia 3 tahun ayah meninggal. Dididik ibu juga. Hafal quran 15 tahun. Lepas itu hafal hadith. Imam shafie gurunya, testified tiada yg lebih hfal hadith di bgnn ini dari imam hanbal.

Imam bukhari juga kematian ayah waktu 3 tahun.

Rabiaturra'yi. (Tabiin). Ditinggalkan ayahnya 30 tahun dgn 30,000 dinar. Ibu dia sekolahkan jadi ulama besar. Ayahnya pulang singgah di masjid nabawi, ada ulama besar.

Malik bin anas, imam abu hanifah, sufyan atthaury, layth, auzaie, semua berguru dengan dia.

Al ummu madrasatun. Jika kau siapkan ibu dgn baik, maka rngkau menyiapkan satu bangsa. Penyair mesir.

Tarbiyah ruhiyah
-luqman 13.
Boleh je cakap jgn kat anak, tapi beri sebab! (based on ayat ni)

-sex education:Bgtau ni mak je boleh pegang

-tsaqafah: yg pertama adalah alquran. Sbb once terlepas certain usia, susah nak kejar.

Lps tu ustaz cdg bahasa. Arab, mandarin. Yg lain boleh selepasmya.

-akhlak,adab. Termasuk ajak aurat ibu bapa pada anak.
10 tahun kena pisah tidur.
Anak perempuan mesti pakai seluar panjang
Pastikan kehalalan makanan anak kita, halal perkara dan cara dapat.

Panduan Tarbiyah baca surah luqman.

Dialog dgn anak dlm quran yg paling banyak adalah dari ayah. Jadi both perlu main peranan dan sepakat.

#notakatibah #raw #ustazpks #ydppksselangor

Friday, February 3, 2017

Buraq bahagia

Housemate asked if i can drive MIL's big car to fetch the inlaws at the airport. He will drive his dad's. No way jose hubby, too many things are at stake. 😂.

So I, proudly transported them in my myvi that i pay with my own titik peluh every month. Verily, there is sweetness in earning for your own expenses.

In a separate incident, my bosses were arguing whose car is the most uncomfortable.
An audi was deemed by its owner as merely a keldai, meanwhile a bmw 7 series owner said his was a keldai keras. So I asked them, then what is my myvi?

To which Dr. Tahir replied, it is your buraq bahagia Atiqah.

He couldnt word it better. It definitely is my buraq bahagia, which has received so many parking tickets from MPSJ, been to an event to meet Rosmah, and another event to Ketua Audit Negara's. And Buraq Bahagia was denied VIP parking at both events. 😂
#amkiwrites

Monday, September 26, 2016

Cahaya

Bismillah,

Dah lama tak nangis.


Ayat 8 Surah At-Tahrim, ini seruan dari Allah. Allah panggil balik. Allah tak perlu pun janjikan ganjaran untuk orang yang kembali padaNya, but He did. Dan Allah ajar juga doa di hujungnya.

Hai orang-orang yang beriman, bertaubatlah kepada Allah dengan taubatan nasuhaa (taubat yang semurni-murninya). Mudah-mudahan Rabbmu akan menutupi kesalahan-kesalahanmu dan memasukkanmu ke dalam jannah yang mengalir di bawahnya sungai-sungai, pada hari ketika Allah tidak menghinakan Nabi dan orang-orang mukmin yang bersama dia; sedang cahaya mereka memancar di hadapan dan di sebelah kanan mereka, sambil mereka mengatakan: “Ya Rabb kami, sempurnakanlah bagi kami cahaya kami dan ampunilah kami; Sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Kuasa atas segala sesuatu“. [Quran At Tahrim, 66:8]

Ya, sempurnakanlah bagi kami cahaya kami ya Allah. Dan ampunilah kami.

Tentang cahaya, pernah during one of the darkest phase in my life, dua orang yang hampir dengan saya dan sangat rapat hubungan dengan Allah, kerapkali bertanya saya setiap kali berjumpa, "Atiqah tak sihat ke?"

Walhal saya sihat walafiat secara fizikalnya. Membuatkan saya tertanya, gelap sangat kah hati ini hingga terpancar di wajah? Beginikah wajah pengakhiran di Hari Mahsyar nanti di mana kita nampak dosa dan pahala di wajah masing-masing?T_T

Jom, balik pada Allah.

Thursday, August 25, 2016

phd

Alaa', banyak sangatttt saya belajar dari wanita gaza ini. balik dari setiap pertemuan, boleh tulis satu karangan nasihat.

Semalam dia pesan, sangat - sangat sayang / membazir jika kita tidak terus menerus tingkatkan diri. "After finishing my masters, I told myself I will never hold a book again ever. But here I am, already completed my phd. Allah will only put you through what you are able to do. And we must continue to improve ourselves. "

Dia tinggal jauh dari keluarga, semata-mata untuk PhD (di Gaza tiada resources untuk PhD). Bukan senang, berulang alik ke sana dengan keadaan sempadan tak tahu bila buka, visa expired tapi sempadan masih tak buka, sarat mengandung dan dah habis viva tapi tak boleh balik bersalin di pangkuan keluarga kerana sempadan Rafah tidak dibuka.

Kalau buka pun, bilangan orang yang boleh cross border each time adalah terhad. Maka orang disumbat ibarat sardin ke dalam bas merentasi sempadan itu. Tiada aircond, hampir tiada oksigen, kanak-kanak menangis. Bas pula ditahan lama pula oleh sekuriti Israel tanpa sebarang sebab (gambar dikongsi dengan izin beliau).

Ada yang tanya, kenapa dia datang lagi ke Malaysia (dulu utk htr thesis, dan kali ini untuk viva)? Tak serik ke? Haritu punya susah nak balik Gaza. Duduklah sana diam diam.

1. Orang Gaza tidak pernah kenal erti gentar dan putus asa.
2. Alaa berkata, this is part of their resistance, their jihad. they wont allow the Zionists to decide their future!

23082016




Thursday, July 28, 2016

Bermotivasikanlah pada paksi Allah.

Kerana He is always there.

Faktor lain pula, datang dan pergi.

Semangat?

Datang dan pergi.

Ikhlaslah wahai diri.

Susah? Memang.

Kerana jannah is not cheap. Cliche.

Cubalah.

Cubalah...


Thursday, July 21, 2016

He was alone #YouAreNotAlone

Lagenda muzik, Cat Stevens memperkenalkan lagu barunya tentang nasib pelarian kanak-kanak. I find the song very disturbing. Terbayang-bayang kanak-kanak pelarian Syria.

Memang ada yang menceritakan perjalanan mereka sangat sukar. Langkah mayat-mayat, lari dari bom, lari dalam hutan dalam keadaan ibu mengandung, bawa anak kecil, cirit birit kerana tiada air bersih melainkan sungai yang mengandungi mayat /darah, berjalan tanpa henti selama 7 jam, lari dari ISIS, dan lain-lain.

Oh Allah, let us have world peace. And let us be amongst those who work towards victory.

He was alone,
When he was twelve,
Only his thoughts, which he kept to himself

He didn’t have, a place to play
A friend to call, or a word to say

But he had hope,
That one day he’d fly
Over the rainbow, up through the sky

He was alone,
He didn’t have much
And all that he had, he couldn’t touch

He lay awake,
All night through
This was his world, no one else knew,
Nothing to fear,
Nothing to hide,
Nothing but stars, to care as he cried

But he had hope,
That one day he’d own
A flashing (white) horse, to carry him home

And in his hand he felt a stone,
That’s all he had, and he was alone

But he had wish,
That one day he’d fly
Over the wall, up to the sky

He was just one,
Who never grew old,
On a list of names, upon the road