Thursday, November 4, 2010

'being who i am'


Bismillah,
Post ini mungkin berbaur peribadi, berbaur emosi. Sila tekan ctrl+w jika di ilhamkan tidak perlu meneruskan membaca ini.

I have a younger brother who is literally special, kerana dia pemegang kad kuning OKU. Kromosom dia 48xxyy, instead of the normal 46xy for a male.

Antara characteristics orang yang terlebih kromosom adalah violent. And my brother used to be very violent. Dia pernah baling bata kepada seorang pakcik yang sedang bercakap dengan our father. Adegan kejar mengejar untuk pukul dengan barang bahaya, was very common. Kakak-kakak sampai takut nak disiplinkan dia, bimbang dipukul.

Salah dia kah? He was just being himself! Cubalah google 48xxyy, pasti jumpa characteristic-behaviour outburst, violent.

But alhamdulillah, he is now very calm and obedient to the parents. Bahkan kini, dia lebih taat dan lebih berdiplomasi dengan ummi baba berbanding adik beradik lain yang normal semuanya(alhamdulillah). T.T

was it an easy transformation? Tidak. It was with His izin, for sure. Alhamdulillah again. He had to go through numerous therapies; occupational, physio, speech, everything. The parents seeked advice from many health consultants, bagaimana nak deal dengan kanak2 seperti ini. He had to go on a sugar diet, when he was used to living on hot chocolate after quitting pediasure. He had to go through so many time outs. I used to cry bila baba suruh semua pulaukan dia di luar sebagai tanda time out. Tak sampai hati.

Sangat menyayat hati, bila kami pergi ke rumah orang dan di jamu benda manis. Ammar akan buat-buat tak nampak. Bila disuruh menjamah(they mean well ofcourse), dia akan kata”saya tak boleh makan, manis. Nanti puan arbaieyah(his headmistress) marah”
Relative:makan jelah, saya tak bagitau ummi. cikgu kat sekolah, bukan tau pun.
Ammar:tak boleh, nanti saya makan gula saya jadi gila macam ni(rolled eyes, acted crazy).
Relative:sikit je, taklah punya.
Ammar:tak boleh, saya tak normal.
Relative:eh?
Ammar: sengih2, lari, and screamed: Tanya kakak saya!(and pointed to me).
Sungguh, aku tersenyap seketika. For a kid to fight his nafs, for him to refrain himself, knowing the consequences.

Padahal boleh saja kan dia guna alasan penyakit dia. It is in his genes! It is designed in his DNA! Alasan apa lagi yang kukuh dari itu? But he chose not to use that justification, and fought hard.

Dulu kami sangat risau, bagaimana mahu ajar dia solat dan puasa. but now alhamdulillah, sudah boleh jadi imam di sekolah, pergi surau sentiasa walau subuh masih dinosaur. And we noticed the changes occurred around the same time when he learnt to pray consistently.

Ada pula relative lain, yang ada bipolar disorder. Her family suffered, having to face her constant mood swings. Tapi dia cuba. She is on prozac since forever, and she also became better when she became more religious. All praise be to Allah, sememangnya iman punya kuasa tersendiri. Bisa melembutkan besi sekalipun. Bukti:saidina umar radhiyallahu'anhu.

Maka alasan apa lagi untuk kita tidak berubah?kerana its not who we are, and we want to be ourselves?

kita dilahirkan dalam keadaan fitrah kain putih kan?tidak terukir jahiliyyah jahiliyyah itu dalam DNA kita bukan?

17:19-Dan sesiapa yang menghendaki akhirat dan berusaha mengerjakan amal-amal yang baik untuk akhirat dengan usaha yang layak baginya, sedang ia beriman, maka mereka yang demikian keadaannya, diberi pahala akan amal usahanya.

p/s:ini bukan entry tumpang popularity adik. Bukan minta simpati juga. Tapi ini untuk belajar dari dia. Allah cipta dia for a reason bukan? ammar muzakkir, my personal muzakkir.

pp/s:moga Allah jauhi saya dan kamu dari keburukan entry ini. AAMEEEN.

8 comments:

  1. rase malu lak aku tak leh nak lawan diri sendiri bile adik ko boleh. huhu.. good one.

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  2. atiqah, my respect to your lil bro and of course, a big respect pada ALLAH S.W.T!
    moga iman kita bertambah-tambah, dan tambah-tambah!
    i do mean it, and plus, the post isn't bad at all, malah one of the best! ;)
    doakan kita semua~

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  3. nice post . barakAllahufiha . different person ada different ujian . he got the similar ujian with me which is sakit even diff penyakit nya .
    I know how hard to lawan sesuatu yang boleh menyebabkan kita sakit sedang kn sesuatu itu asyik datang .
    semoga Allah limpahkan dia dengan kesihatan dan kebahagiaan hidup dunia dan akhirat , insya'Allah .

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  4. wow, dia boleh lawan sugar temptation. =)

    Ammar muzzakir sangat memberi inspirasi since the first post u wrote about him. Teruskan!

    a good post, indeed. like!

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  5. Masya Allah, truely inspiring your brother...

    May Allah give him strength to keep up the good work...

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  6. likes this v much. agreed with the comments above, inspiring! nak share boleh?
    huu, org yang dah pi 'therapy' sayonara jahiliyyah plk byk lagi karat2 tk hilang. walhal lahir2 ikut fitrah je, takde pulak gene jahiliyyah. T.T

    ps; nak jumpa ammarr dgn peep!

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  7. atiqahmohammadkhuzainiNovember 6, 2010 at 11:32 AM

    salina:aameeen!
    southgate:sugar temptation-dush!thanks for pointing that out! byk lagi temptations perlu usaha diatasi
    hakimah:sila. n kita pun nak jumpa. haha

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  8. luv this entry to bits.. and my bow to him, at such a young age, he doesn't use his abnormalities as a reason to act abnormally tho he obviously can.. with what's written in the DNA plus his age.. nonetheless he fight hard :)

    well, ashamed to those yg sudah mumayyiz yet fighting is out of question.. dah lah tu, asyik guna reason 'sakit' je.. oh i see lots in the hospital!

    kudos to you ammar!

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